Blog Post

Love Will Always Be Part of the Answer

  • By Laurie McAnaugh
  • 05 Jun, 2020

June 2020

It was the morning after the grand jury decided to not charge Darren Wilson for the murder of Michael Brown.
 
That day, I was teaching a weekly two hour Powerful Women class at a local shelter for those who had experienced domestic violence. I was also working with each of the women individually during 45 min life coaching sessions each week. The group spanned different races and ethnicities but all were suffering from poverty and abuse.
 
We had gotten to know each other. We had earned one another's trust. We had had some meaningful and life changing conversations in that room. They knew I deeply cared about each of them.
 
Typically, the group would filter in and we would all chat casually as we waited for everyone to join. This particular morning, there was no casual conversation among the women. There was only anger. Vengeful, hate-filled anger. The emotions were raw and real. As they vented their fury, comments quickly turned from justice, to their wish that "all police officers be shot." They continued to discuss law enforcement and the system of racism, lumping all white men in uniform into one large vat of evil.
 
I sat quietly and just listened. Until finally someone realized I hadn't started class. And she asked me why.
 
Without any defensiveness, anger or judgment, I shared that my husband was a law enforcement officer- both corrections and police.
 
What happened next was a beautiful combination of honoring, learning, sharing, listening, and empathizing. We heard each other. We talked about what it means for all of us to choose to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. And how love will always lead us further than hate.
 
We talked about how anger was ok. And how sometimes it can motivate us towards change- but if we allow it to be the only emotion that leads, what will become of us? Opening up our perspectives towards hope and optimism allows us to see the good in each other.
 
We also talked about the dangers of calling a full bushel spoiled because of a few bad apples. If we want to reap from the glorious harvest of humanity, we all can commit to growth here.
 
Because matching darkness with darkness will always yield only one unfortunate choice. More darkness. If we want permanent and lasting change, it's the responsibility of every single one of us- regardless of race, ethnicity or gender- to be the light forward.
 
After all, it only takes one beautiful person with a dream to impact us all.
By Laurie McAnaugh 16 Sep, 2021
Take Care of Yourself
By Laurie McAnaugh 05 Jan, 2021
We've all heard it over and over again these past few weeks. Maybe you've even said it yourself.

"Good riddance to 2020! Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Bring on 2021!"

I get it. It was a year that brought on many challenges.
Fear. Isolation. Illness. Discord. Unprecedented uncertainty.

Here's the interesting thing though. When I challenge this "Good Riddance" mantra, every single person is able to list so many beautiful moments from the last 12 months.

I would guess that's true for you, too.

So take a moment to breathe. Deeply. Right now.
What will you take with you from 2020?
What gifts? What insights? What habits? What non-negotiables? What unexpected treasures?

What changes do you want to keep?
Instead of rushing to slam the door on this past year, decide instead to gently close it with gratitude and positive anticipation of what's to come.
It has been a year that has created openings for entire paradigm shifts within each and every one of us.
And within our world.

Some of those shifts in 2021 will be amazing. Some may continue to feel like obstacles for awhile.

But we're all on this crazy ride doing the best we can with what we've got in this moment.
Let us continue to develop our own unique personal tool belts so that when life acts all "2020" on us, we've got the reserves to be able to hold our mental health strong while still seeing the multitude of blessings everywhere.

Let us seek to better honor our own humanity and the humanity in others by letting go of the self-defeating, stress-inducing burden of judgment.  And at the same time, let us hold ourselves accountable for rising up to higher ground.  

Because 2020 has strengthened us and we really are that powerful.


By Laurie McAnaugh 22 Dec, 2020
My husband, Todd and I recently spent a week in the Berkshires of Western Massachusetts. We make it a priority to spend time there at least a few times a year. It's a quiet, peaceful part of the world filled with mountains and snow-capped beauty.

We fill our days with simplicity. Long, scenic drives through the peaks and valleys, and hikes that lead us to places we’ll never forget.

The hikes are always an adventure. There’s just something about being alone in the woods, miles from civilization, without cell service.

As we navigate unfamiliar trails, the ground beneath our feet is sometimes wet and slippery. It takes all of our concentration and agility to safely stay the course (okay, just me- my husband is annoyingly fearless and freakishly agile). Occasionally, I can forget to stop, look up, and absorb the magnificent landscape.

Deep in the woods, the world becomes so still that every noise seems to intensify. The sounds of the scurrying wild, the forceful winter breezes that push the trees to their limits. The wind causes the bare birch trunks to creak, making haunting sounds that keep us on high alert. The sounds so intense at times, you wonder when a tree might fall, and where. But we brave the path ahead, not knowing exactly what the final destination will look like and what obstacles lie ahead. We just keep going.

To be in the middle of the cold, barren, breathless beauty completely disconnected to civilization, makes these excursions feel both risky and sacred at the same time. For this naturally cautious girl (did I mention my fear of wild animals?), these isolated walks in the wild bring on a mix of conflicting feelings and emotions:

Gratitude, concern, reverence, worry, wonder, apprehension, appreciation, uncertainty, and faith.

And when we finally arrive at an enchanting waterfall, I know it was worth the effort it took to get there.

Reminds me of 2020. So much to have felt anxious about. So much to appreciate. So much isolation. Yet so many reasons to trust that good is around the corner.

So we just keep going. We brave the unknown. No matter how slippery, and treacherous the journey has been, if we remember to pause and look around, we’ll find much beauty and opportunity to embrace.

Wishing you the sacredness of simplicity this holiday season and a 2021 filled with love, connection and exciting new adventures.
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